Single Girls Club

Last Friday night, I decided to stay over at Eniola's place, the head bursting "bachelorette". It was 9pm. Eniola had plans already made plans... Mtcheww, that sly.
 "Are you actually going clubbing, Eniola?" I remember asking the olori nla while texting Emela.
 

"No oh, I'm just wearing heels to keep my feet warm... Better come with me to Rumours tonight, and let me help your career" She said as she was already fixing her false eyelashes.


"Mtcheww... All those shaku shaku boys that club, I already found true love... Emeka Nma... Nami, Abi what's is that his surname again?" I said.

"True love? That was what you said last year with Newspaper James and Recharge card Daniel, and his name is Emeka Nnaji, olodo"


Eniola was Emeka's childhood friend, and I got to know him through her( story for another day)
Yeah, I've caught Emeka cheating, one.. Two or Thirteen times, but who is keeping count?
I'm just too lazy for a real boyfriend, Emeka is low maintenance, doesn't like makeup and loves my smile(at leago  that's what he says)


  Economically, if I have a new boyfriend, my hair has to be on fleek( at least something presentable) my makeup won't be the tiro I used to steal from mum's cupboard to use every morning to work.

The new boyfriend self... I will still pretend I don't like money for 3 months(for his mind!) In this Buhari era, who will pay for all that?
But wait, I hope collecting recharge card money is not considered liking money, because data isn't cheap ejo!

 "Earth to Victoria" Eniola whined.
"See, Agnes' mother's friend said she knows someone who found love in a club... And they have been married for 13 years!... Club guys have ASSURANCE sef" Eniola completed, already calling an uber.

  "Yeah sure... Is that before or after they use you for money ritual?" I asked.

"Mtcheew... Are you going or not?"
 "Oya, sorry" I replied.


There I was, for the first time in a club, wearing those extremely short, elastic dresses, any wrong step, it reveals your okirika G-string for the world to see for free, not like I would like it either if it were paid for, or would I?

I borrowed Eniola's stilleto, they were killer high. The guy I mistakenly stepped on by the entrance of the club will end up with serious fractures, I heard "bones cracking" and I'm not joking I swear. A short dress and heavy heels, must be my lucky day!

This was Eniola's world, the party-crazy, radio-OAP. She obviously earned more than me, and no, she doesn't have a boyfriend, but I'm not giving you her number.

"Hey" Someone said behind me, as I drank one blue wine Eniola bought for me.

"You don't dance?" The fine stranger said again. He was dark, nice abs, but not too much. He had beards in the right places.

"If I get to dance with a fine guy like you, I will give it a try" I smirked like Rihana in her best music videos. If only my mother could have seen me!
  The music was loud, the drink seemed to intoxicate me a little... My body was free! I can fly! The stranger was too good to be true. He touch my hips as we danced, my neck... Down, and he slid into my pocket, where I had my IPhone 5 and he was gone.


Well, I didn't know that then, and I didn't know that Eniola had slyed me, alcohol had me. My eyes cleared when it was 4am, Saturday morning. I  had puked allover my body and I couldn't find my phone to call Eniola-the-traitor, soon enough, everyone began to leave, and I found out she had gone.

I was low on cash(aren't I always?) So I couldn't call an uber(do they work that early sef?) If you had seen me, you would have me boarding a Yaba bus, looking like an olosho, with smeared makeup( aye me oh!)
Phone gone, heels broken, heart crushed, but please don't tell my mother, because what happened in Rumours, stays in Rumours.